Harmony County

   Now the have gone and done it. Another American icon is in mortal danger. I am calling for the immediate impeachment of President Obama, the House of Representatives, the United States Senate, the Jersey City Marching and Chowder Society and while we are at it, the Women’s Division of the World Wrestling Federation. (I dated a woman wrestler once, a new interpretation of the phrase, ‘heavy date’. I will never do that again.)

   I totally agree with former Judge Andrew P. Napolitano when he says that the Democrats take the taxes from the middle class and give it to the welfare recipients to buy their votes and the Republicans take the taxes from the middle class and give it to the corporations in order to get cash to keep them in office.

   The above listed incompetent scoundrels have failed to act to save a corporation from bankruptcy thereby leaving the people in helpless to the forced consumption of food that is good for them.

   “Twinkies”® is going under! The famed snack food of legend and glory will be no longer.

   Twinkies has a long history. Just recently, an archeologist was working in tomb of Egyptian Pharaoh Moped III. Moped was known to his subjects as King Putt, Putt, Putt. His tomb dated back to Tuesday, October 12, 3,432 BC around 4:15 pm, not to put to fine a point on it.

   In the tomb were found a case of Twinkies placed there to aid him in his trip to his last reward. They were still fresh.

   It was in Egypt where the first herds of Twinkies roamed the desert, wild and free. If you look at the Sphinx you will see what they looked like, only much smaller. Simply take away the head and paws and you have the modern Twinkie. We will forego any discussion of a comparison of ancient and modern contents.

   The Hostess Baking Company, which also produces Wonder Bread, has refiled for Chapter 11 Bankruptcy. The Russians call Wonder Bread and all American white bread as, “water that stands”.

   The going under of the company will also end the traditional lunch box combination of peanny-boo and jell-jell sandwich with a Twinkie desert washed down by a chocolate milk. Admittedly, there is more food value in grazing on four square yards of the school playground grass, but we are talking about tradition.

   This will present a problem to schoolteachers who usually expect their students to come back from lunch buzzing at around 5300 rpm with a sugar high. Now the kids will come back with bellies full of healthy food and ready for a nap. The thumps from the kid’s heads playing table basketball will be heard out in the 5^th grade parking lot.

   I find it ironic that President Obama has not stepped in. Whenever his wife Michelle goes on a speaking junket to expound upon the benefits of a healthy diet her limo is followed by a swirling cloud of Ho-Ho and Ding Dong wrappers. © 2012, Jim McGowan