Harmony County

2011 & 2009 Winner of "Best Humor Column" awarded by the SC Press Association

No longer on the Govenator’s A list

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    I told my editor that I would avoid writing a column about South Carolina’s Governor Mark Sanford’s latest antics. However, my nature being what it is, I just couldn’t resist.  

    First off going to another country for Tango lessons seems to be a bit much. You mean to say that the local talent is lacking. With this in mind I have heard that the South Carolina Chapter of C.O.Y.O.T.E. is currently organizing a protest demonstration that is to be held in front of the State House. I can hardly wait to see the placards and signs that the ‘working girls’ will be carrying.

   Then there are the remarks made by His Excellency that defy any common sense. What is with this “soul mate” crapola? Sanford has got plenty of soul mates right here, State Senator Jake Knotts, being the foremost. If anyone wants a lesson in political payback, just stick around.

   Then there is the matter of the way Sanford’s wife Jenny is handling the situation. Not that she is the type of woman that would be throwing the Governor’s stuff out of the second floor window of the mansion or spray painting obscenities on his car but she seems to be staying well in the background while Sanford is daily putting both feet in his mouth. Either that or she is very heavily sedated.

   As the saying goes, “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.” That old saw is going to be updated to, “Hell hath no fury like a savvy, southern lady with a squad of Charleston divorce lawyers.” I’m sure there will be more on this front later.

   Something that really got my eyebrows raised was the supposed ‘leak’ of the emails that were sent to Argentina. Somehow Brand X got copies from an inside source. Whoever that source is I hope he or she has got themselves covered. Selling your governor down the river is not going to look good on a resume. You can bet your bottom dollar that there is a witch hunt and a half going on in the governor’s office.

      When Sanford resigned from the Republican Governor’s Association presidency my reaction was, “Golly, how terrible. He is no longer on Arnold’s A list.”  Big deal.

   There are few things Sanford might consider. First he should shut up. No more heart felt confessions. Confession might be good for the soul, but it is great for the media. Second, he should make sure that he has a cash crop in at the farm because politically speaking, he just bought it. Third, he might think about calling Andre Bauer in from the bullpen. Fourth, lawyer up because he is going to need to.

   If he had trouble getting people to return his calls before this international incident started he can forget about it now. He just made everybody’s blocked caller list. Even his dog and cat are not taking his calls.

   Here is a man who is going to have a lot of time on his hands.© 2009, Jim McGowan


Written by harmonycounty

July 15, 2009 at 4:42 p07

Posted in Humor, Politics

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