Harmony County

2011 & 2009 Winner of "Best Humor Column" awarded by the SC Press Association

I could get one too

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   Let us all put down our bourbons and bludgeons. Let’s un-bunch our bloomers and take a closer, calmer and cooler look at the Obama Nobel prize.

    First off, the Prez had been in office a grand total of 12 days when the nomination deadline of February 1 passed. I may be wrong since I don’t recover from New Year’s parties as quickly as I used to, but I don’t recall any international “Peace in Our Time” initiatives in the last couple of weeks of January coming out of the White House.

   Realistically, I’d be lucky to remember my office phone number and who is running the office football pool in the first 12 days on the job.

   Next, it is the Norwegian government, currently being run by a combination of left leaning parties that appoints the selection committee. How many conservatives do you think were on that committee if they could be found?

    Remember that in 1994 these are the same folks who awarded the prize to Yasser Arafat, Shimon Peres and Yitzhak Rabin. Unofficial accounts state that after the award ceremony, the three held, in the words of Anakin Skywalker, “aggressive negotiations” resulting in Arafat sustaining a broken nose, three missing teeth and severe testicular swelling. Peres ended up with two broken knuckles and Rabin a twisted knee.

   Don’t forget that Al Gore, the self-proclaimed inventor of the Internet, got one in ’07 for his portrayal of Chicken Little in, “The Sky is Heating”.

   Norway is a country where the national pastime is shivering and the weather is described as, ‘winter and two months of hard sledding.’ Global warming to the average Norwegian is a good idea.

   It is Norway, for crying out loud. About 1200 years ago the last of the freethinkers got in their boats and headed due south as fast as they could row. They did considerable damage along the way, but they never looked back.

   It does not take ‘Jimmy the Greek’ to figure out that some sort of fix was on, but I can’t figure out to what end. Were these five folks trying to influence US policy? Were they trying butter up Obama to get an increase in foreign aid? Were they trying to open up the US pickled herring market?

   So the award was either a joke or a thinly disguised effort on the part of the committee to get a self-inflicted ‘touchy-feely.’ The 60s and 70s revisited.

   According to an unnamed source when the press secretary informed the President that he had won the Prize Obama allegedly said, “Yeah, right. Who told you, the FOX news guys? How many times did I tell you never to take their calls?”

   However, I have to look at the bright side. If Chicken Little and the 12-day Wonder can get a Nobel, why can’t I get one in Literature? I could use the $1.3 million and it would prove, beyond a doubt that the Nobelers should never be taken seriously.

   That’s sad. © 2009 Harmony County

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Written by harmonycounty

December 30, 2009 at 4:42 p12

Posted in Americana, Humor, Politics

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