Harmony County

2011 & 2009 Winner of "Best Humor Column" awarded by the SC Press Association

Noteworthy on Father’s Day

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   Next Sunday is Father’s Day. In my family, it is time to send Dear ol’ Dad an insulting card and a tacky tie or some really nasty underwear. What can I say, it is a tradition.

   I got to thinking about the day in general and I am always a bit suspicious about these days that seem to have been created for the benefit of the greeting card companies. Mother’s Day is one thing. Everybody is sappy about his or her Mom so I can support it, however now there are days dedicated to grandparents, uncles and aunts, cousins and just about every relation imaginable. So they seem to be stretching it a bit.

   Then there are other ‘Fathers’ then the normal related ones. There is George Washington, “The Father of His Country”. I’ve always been a bit curious about that title.    George spent a good deal of time away from Martha and I wonder if he might have left a bunch of George Juniors spread out over the country. I can just imagine a bunch of little brats who had uncontrollable desires to throw cherry trees across rivers.

   However, it turns out that the title goes back a long ways. “Pater Patriae” was a Roman honorific meaning “Father of the Fatherland”, bestowed by the Senate on heroes, and later on emperors.

    There are some other ‘Fathers’ who don’t seem to get the credit that they deserve. Take, for instance, Francisco Lana de Terzi. He is the Father of Aviation since 1663. He was from Lombardy in Italy and on the first theoretical flight had to wait five hours on taxiway before takeoff. They still lost his bags. There was no return flight since the Italian air traffic controllers went out on strike and still are to this day.

   Contrary to statements made by him, Al Gore was not the Father of the Internet. The guys that are the proud parents are Vint Cerf and Bob Kahn. Honorable mention is given to Philip Emeagwali who invented the super computer making it all possible.

   There are some other ‘Fathers of…’ worthy of note. For example, Daisuke Inoue, who is the ‘Father of Karaoke’, a man who is in desperate need of a hanging. Let us not forget South Carolina’s own, J. Marion Sims from Hanging Rock in Lancaster County. He is the ‘Father of Gynecology’.

   I almost forgot to mention the immemorial Momofuko Ando. The man who is responsible for keeping all college students bodies and souls together. He is the Father of the Instant Noodle.

   There are some pretty good moments while being a father. Those days are when a kid graduates from school or when they do well in an athletic event and you are there to see it. And there is that great moment of parental pride when the offspring show their trust in pop and use their one phone call to contact you.

   That little incident always got the same response from me, “Enjoy your stay”. © 2010, Harmony County.

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Written by harmonycounty

June 17, 2010 at 4:42 p06

Posted in Americana, Humor

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