Harmony County

2011 & 2009 Winner of "Best Humor Column" awarded by the SC Press Association

Uninvited guests

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   I had some uninvited guests stop by last weekend. I guess they liked it here since they decided to set up light housekeeping. Robert ‘Bob’ and his wife Bridget ‘Bridie’ Wren just made themselves a home in one of my hanging plant pots on the balcony. As you may have guessed, they are Carolina Wrens.

    I have never seen creatures work as hard. In the course of one day, they built a nest about twice the size of a softball and just as round. In addition, they worked nonstop. For all I know it may contain a finished basement and a bonus room over the garage. There were a few errors made along the way.

   Bob has a tendency to become confused. There are two hanging baskets on the balcony. From time to time Bob would go to the one not containing the construction site. He would sit in it with a puzzled look on his face as if to say, “Where did the nest go”?

   Bridie would see him and give a call from the work in progress along the lines of, “Over here, birdbrain”! Bob would then go to the right basket trying to look like he knew it all along and was just checking. Guys are like that.

   Bob’s work is not over when the nest was finished. He has to feed his mate while she sits on the eggs. So Bob is busily providing ‘take-out’ for Bridie for the next couple of weeks. Once the eggs hatch, the two of them have to feed the new family until they can provide for themselves.

   The two have definite personalities. Bob is easygoing and unflappable. There is a bird feeder nearby frequented mostly by Cardinals and Sparrows with an occasional finch stopping by for a quick snack. Bob just ignores them and goes about his business. I am sure that he thinks the Cardinals are just a bunch of flashy dressers with heavy Italian accents.

   Bridie, on the other hand, lives up to her Irish name. Under no circumstances is she going to tolerate any unwanted visitors. When she saw red, she saw red. If she saw a Cardinal at the feeder, she would be on them, tiny talons first, in a flash.

   I saw three of the Eminences flapping away with their meal tickets freshly punched. There was a squawk associated with their undignified exit that I am sure would be translated, “Tu stronza”! Remember that Cardinals are twice the size of a Wren. I guess the word got out in the College since I haven’t seen them around since the Wrens moved in.

   Either attribute it to an Irish temper, a hormone imbalance since Bridie is in the family way, or that she really peeped off at Bob, she is no one with whom to meddle. She even gave me a fierce scolding when I tried to get a closer look.

   So, it looks like my balcony is off limits until my feathered house guests move on.©  2010 Harmony County

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Written by harmonycounty

July 22, 2010 at 4:42 p07

Posted in Americana, Humor

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