Harmony County

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Fort Jackson had a VIP visitor last week. Michelle Obama showed up, complete with aids, coordinators, assistants, go-fers and god only knows how many Secret Service agents dropped by to say ‘howdy’. I can assure you that she was as welcome as Gladys Godzilla with a bad case of PMS.

These are a few of the boats that were seriously rocked.

Lt. General Mark Heckler, the General in charge of Initial (Basic) Training army-wide had to stop by to welcome Mrs. O. He flew in from either the Pentagon or Fortress Monroe in Virginia. His aide-de-camp and a couple other staff-weenies were with him. His job was to shake hands and smile, a job a well-trained chimpanzee can do. I suppose that a three-star general does it better, and Thursdays are always slow days in major commands.

Next in the “I really don’t need this”, line was the Commanding General of Fort J., Maj. General James Milano (two stars). A little background is in order. An assignment like this for a two-bagger sends a message. The message is, “Take it easy, work on your putting or your backhand. Thanks for a job well done”.

This kind of job is considered an easy one for MGs. For one who is retiring in the near future it is an atta-boy. For one who is not, it is break before he is thrown into the meat grinder, again.

However, when Mrs. O shows up all that goes out the window. It is ‘monkey dance’ time.

The next poor soul to catch it is the commander of the post Military Police. When he got the word, he did one of two things: one was to violently hurl into his wastebasket and have a good cry; or crawl into the nearest bourbon bottle in hopes that it will all go away.

This little visit that will last around three hours can be a career-ender for him. One tiny screw-up and he will be handing out parking tickets on Diego Garcia Island. Face it; he has a competent group of MPs. They can handle traffic control, the trainees when they get rowdy, and make sure no one gets into the post that is not authorized. Not visitations from on high accompanied by a bunch of hard-nosed Secret Service agents.

The purpose of this huge exercise was so Mrs. Prez could deliver the message, “Eat healthy, exercise”, good message, lousy choice of audience.

The audience was the graduating class of the 1st Battalion, 34th Infantry Basic Training. For the past two and a half months, you couldn’t find a healthier eating, harder exercising bunch on the planet. These people have roughly run the distance between Fort Jackson and Seattle and back and have done enough push-ups to lower mean elevation of Fort J. by about two feet. I can guarantee the first stop they make off-post is the drive-thru at Mickey Ds.

What was the net result of this visit? There are some new Republicans out there.© 2011, Harmony County

 

 

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Written by harmonycounty

February 3, 2011 at 4:42 p02

Posted in Americana, Humor, Politics

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