Harmony County

2011 & 2009 Winner of "Best Humor Column" awarded by the SC Press Association

Pushing our buttons

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   Some how I managed to be elected the Official Panic Button for my neighborhood. So much for the validity of General Sherman’s quote, “If nominated I will not run. If elected I will not serve”.

   I suppose that it is due to my advanced education, you will recall that I am a 5th grade graduate, three of the happiest years of my life, and I am a journalist who enjoys all the inside knowledge of the hidden workings of our government. The President has me on his autodial and we have exchanged pork recipes.

   The other day I got pushed three times in the same amount of hours. There were two panic phone calls and a wood splintering pounding on the front door. The theme for all of these desperate contacts was the same. “The President and the Congress is going to stop Social Security checks, Medicare and Medicaid, Veterans health care and benefits and not pay the military next month”.

   If our elected national officials feel so suicidal there is no better way of doing it. Let us follow these ideas to their logical conclusions.

   How many people do you think are drawing Social Security? Be assured that all of them vote. No Medicare and no Medicaid, well then who gets to die first? No Veterans benefits, are they going to empty the VA hospitals?

   The hidden land mine in this is that the recipients of their Social Security are going to have to move in somewhere. That somewhere is with their kids and I can assure you that one thing my kids don’t want is for me to show up on their front porch with my suitcases. Those who are paying into the Social Security certainly will have no confidence in the system.

   If the Medicaid and Medicare disappear the same group of adult children is going to take the hit.

  NoVAhospitals and benefits? What? Are you going to hang a ‘Closed’ sign on the front door and put the vets in the parking lot? Their kids are going to get it again.

   No military pay, your average dogface puts up with a lot. But, there are three things you cannot fool with under any circumstance. One is his chow, two is his mail, and three is his pay. So, a GI inIraqorAfghanistanis going to sit still when his family back in the States is broke, not hardly.

   The message is clear. Our elderly or seriously ill or wounded veterans or active duty military are going pay for the mansions and private jets of greedy bankers, incompetent corporation officers, and discredited Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac directors.

   So friends and neighbors, get a grip. The boys and girls up in D.C. are just posturing. It is called ‘brinkmanship.’ If they do, what they threaten not the most screaming liberal nor is any hardcore Tea Partier going to vote for them ever again.

   Nevertheless, there is one thing we all have to remember. The same jerks that created this problem are the ones that are supposed to fix it.© 2011,HarmonyCounty

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Written by harmonycounty

July 21, 2011 at 4:42 p07

Posted in Americana, Humor, Politics

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