Harmony County

2011 & 2009 Winner of "Best Humor Column" awarded by the SC Press Association

Some suggestions about illegal immigration

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   When I was in the gainful employ of our Uncle Sugar, I had the opportunity to travel extensively. That is one way of putting that he shipped my boney, Irish butt all over our little blue orb.

   One of these spots, none of which will ever be found in a travel brochure, was the Panama Canal Zone with a rather unconventional group of high stepping, gay caballeros called the 8th Special Action Force, later the 7th Special Forces Group.

   In the course of my three plus years, I experienced many attention-gaining processes such as: dysentery, to use a key phrase borrowed from the airlines, “remain seated until fully stopped”; and malaria, how does one have a 104 degree temperature and shiver with the chills at the same time?

   With the exception ofBelize, I have been in each country inCentral Americaat least once, most more than that. The point behind the above is to say that I am familiar with the area, the language, and the people. To this day, I still occasionally dream in Spanish. This brings us to the subject, Illegal Immigration.

   I am thoroughly against it. However, we have to own up to some important facts. One is that there are certain jobs no one likes to do. Things such as chopping cotton or hoeing beans in100+ temperatures is not the preferred way to get a tan. Another is that there are a conservatively estimated 14,000,000 illegal aliens in this country. Next, only the national government can enforce the national border. Last is that the current administration will do nothing to enforce the immigration laws that are on the books.

   However, there are some ways to bring this situation under control. One is the obvious one, to beef up the Border Control and turn them loose. Another is to establish civilian companies overseas that will vet all worker applicants for health and police records. That includes a photo ID, a finger print record, and a DNA test. This will all be computerized so that potential employers can easily check the veracity of IDs. They can charge each applicant a reasonable fee.

   With the approval certificate in hand, the applicant will go to one specific job site. When they are paid, they pay into Social Security, health insurance and the usual taxes. The Social Security will not be collected by the worker. Only the worker can enter theUS, not his or her family. If the job is seasonal, they go home until next season. If fired, they go back immediately and their former employer notifies the authorities.

   The employer, however, must announce the job opening in the local papers multiple times and with a sign at least one month in advance so that US workers can get a chance to apply.

    Violations against the regulations will be punishable with deportation, fines, and/or jail time for workers and employers as appropriate.

   Current illegals must get the ID immediately and their unemployed family members go back home.


Written by harmonycounty

August 18, 2011 at 4:42 p08

Posted in Americana, Politics

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