Harmony County

2011 & 2009 Winner of "Best Humor Column" awarded by the SC Press Association

An accident of geography?

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   There are certain incidents that can only occur in specific places. If the State ofCalifornia is mentioned the word, ‘weird’ comes immediately to mind followed by a shrug that seems to mean, ‘What did you expect’. Say New Jersey and scenes from the TV program, “Sopranos” and heavily accented “Youse guys” remarks are mentally heard.

   After you read the story below see if you can figure out where it occurred.
   “Drummond’s Bar began construction on expansion of their building to increase their business. 
   “ In response, the local Baptist Church started a campaign to block the bar from expanding with petitions and prayers. Work progressed right up until the week before the grand reopening when a huge thunderstorm came up, lightning struck the bar, and it burned to the ground. 
   “After the bar burning to the ground by a lightning strike, the church folks were rather smug in their outlook, bragging about “the power of prayer “, until the bar owner sued the church on the grounds that the church . . .”was ultimately responsible for the demise of his building, either through direct or indirect actions or means.” 
 “In its reply to the court, the church vehemently denied all responsibility or any connection to the building’s demise. 
   “ The judge read the plaintiff’s complaint and the defendant’s reply, and at the opening hearing he commented “I don’t know how I’m going to decide this, but it appears from the paperwork that we have a bar owner who believes in the power of prayer, and an entire church congregation that now does not.”

   So what is your guess? You are right, it happened inMt. Vernon,Texas.

   You have to admire your resident of theLoneStarState. When it comes to outlandish, the Texans seemed to have cornered the market.

   So let me leave you with a goodTexasjoke.

   ATexasmillionaire had fallen ill. The doctors consulted did not seem to understand what ailed him. The millionaire let it be known that any doctor who could heal him could have whatever he desired. A country doctor was finally able to cure him, and as the doctor was leaving after a week’s stay, the Texan said, “Doc! I am a man of my word. You name it, and if it is humanly possible, I will get it for you. “Well,” said the doctor, “I love to play golf, so if I could have a matching set of golf clubs, that would be fine.”

   With that, the physician left. The doctor did not hear from the Texan millionaire for some months. Then, one day, he got a phone call from the millionaire. “Doc, I bet you thought that I had gone back on my word. I have your matching set of golf clubs. The reason it took so long is that two of them did not have swimming pools, and I did not think they were good enough for y’all. So I had pools installed and they’re ready for you now!” © 2011,HarmonyCounty

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Written by harmonycounty

August 25, 2011 at 4:42 p08

Posted in Americana, Humor

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