Harmony County

2011 & 2009 Winner of "Best Humor Column" awarded by the SC Press Association

Occupy Harmony County

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   The ‘Occupy Wall Street’ movement found its way to Harmony County. Since the locals are usually pretty vocal when it comes to issues, the sheriff decided that a large visible presence would be appropriate.

   Being a regular Scout the sheriff was well prepared. Surrounding the Occupiers was about 75 deputies, three dozen or so SWAT officers, the fire department with the hoses hooked up and charged and three ambulances.

   This is all fine and dandy except it might be considered over the top since only six Occupiers turned up and two of them were a retired couple who were just passing through and stopped to ask for directions.

   (For your information, pepper spray and senior citizens do not go together well. Additionally, a fire hose, while it will remove all traces of the spray very quickly also has a debilitative effect to the extent it can lift your average grandma off her feet and knock her 20 feet through the air while swearing like a First Sergeant.)

   The demonstration was over before it begun and all is well except that the sheriff has an overtime bill that has him in a less then happy mood.

   One of the demands that many of the Occupiers are making elsewhere is relief from student loans. This goes along with a subset of that demand which is a free college education. If anything, they may need to contact their alma maters and demand their money back.

    It looks as if these institutes of higher learning has failed to teach them the meaning of the word, ‘loan’. Correct me if I am wrong, but I have always thought that a ‘loan’ has to be paid back. I do not believe that anyone forced the money on the students when they entered into the deal.

   The folks here have come up with some answers to the problem of raising money for college. I dislike using four-letter-words, but here it is, ‘work’ for it. That may be unkind, however it is an answer. Another is to go to night school, where you work during the day and go to school at night.

   At the risk of scaring the daylights out of someone there is another source of funds. It requires the future student to, get ready for this, ‘enlist’ in the military. Now there is a hitch. A person has to honorably serve the term of the enlistment. However, upon discharge the person is eligible for the G.I. Bill, ergo college tuition assistance. It worked for me and it worked for my father.

   Some of the Occupier’s demands seem to be a bit farfetched and a few downright goofy. But, there are a few that make sense. They want to tighten the budget, get the lobbyists under control, rewrite tax laws, and get corporate malfeasance under control to name a few.

   To my thinking, the best thing to come out of this movement is that people who never paid any attention to politics are now watching and watching closely. © 2011, HarmonyCounty

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Written by harmonycounty

October 20, 2011 at 4:42 p10

Posted in Humor

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