Harmony County

2011 & 2009 Winner of "Best Humor Column" awarded by the SC Press Association

Blowing smoke

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   Ever since we were kids, we have had fairy tales thrown at us. Starting at Day One we have heard about Santa Klaus, the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny, and the Chicago Cubs winning a World Series just to name a few.

   As we get older and we become a little more discriminating you would think that the stories would end and we would get down to the facts. Not so, we still got some doozies circulating out there that make “Snow White” look like Gospel.

   A favorite amongst those who have no idea what they are talking about is the number of illegal immigrants there are in this country. Depending on the source, there are 12 million, 18 million, or 24 million border jumpers. Naturally, the pro-illegal’s claim the smaller numbers and the anti’s go large. However, there are two flaws in any of the estimates.

   The first is that the numbers have not changed in years. I have been following this issue and the same figures have been bandied about for quite some time. Has the border been secured? Is crossing into this country illegally no longer the Latino national pastime?

   The second fallacy is where did they come up with these numbers? Is there an Illegal Immigrant Checkpoint? I could just see it, “Hola, my name is Raul, and I just crossed with my wife Maria and our kids, Pico, Paco, Tico, Taco, Nico, Naco, and Bubba”. “Bubba?” says the number taker. “Don’t ask’” replies Raul, “Things got a little confusing in Tejas and he just sort of tagged along”.

   (It is the subject for another column, but why is nobody busting the leaders of these nations for doing such a lousy job as to cause a population stampede?)

   Another “Red Riding Hood” Special is one that originates in DC and other political capitals. I firmly believe that ‘Gun Control’ is nothing more than a smoke screen.

   Once again, the estimators say there are 80,000,000 to 270,000,000 guns in the hands of civilians in this country. That is a lot of ‘shootin’ irons’ even if you go to the small numbers. Let’s play ‘what if’.

    Say the government orders that we all have to register our firearms. Somehow, I don’t believe that a criminal is going down to the Sheriff’s Office and sign in. Therefore, it is safe to assume that the bad guys are off the list.

   What if I am a hunter or a target shooter? I probably had these weapons for years and I can assure you that the vast majority are not going to take the time to register. If you carry a weapon for self or home protection, nobody with any sense is going to advertise it and put his or her name on a hackable public record.

   If the government gets an extreme case of the ‘stupid’s’ and outlaws firearms all of the above apply and normal law-abiding citizens suddenly be come criminals.

   Hey Congressman, remember how successful Prohibition was?

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Written by harmonycounty

November 10, 2011 at 4:42 p11

Posted in Americana, Humor, Politics

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