Harmony County

2011 & 2009 Winner of "Best Humor Column" awarded by the SC Press Association

2011, A review of crazy

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   Without doubt, the big story for the year was the untimely death of Osama ‘Fish Food’ bin Laden. By untimely I mean that Bill Clinton had a shot at him 15 or 20 years earlier and blew it.

   If you recall, bin Laden was out camping with a few of the Saudi princes, the CIA had him pegged and the military zeroed in with missiles, but Clinton didn’t want to risk reducing the numbers of Saudi princes who may have been providing the cash for bin Laden’s operations.

   Eventually US Navy Seals caught up with him inPakistanand sent him along to his just reward of an eternity in a karaoke bar with free beer and no men’s room where the demons sing ABBA songs off-key.

   Another biggie was/is the “Occupy Wall Street” movement. The movement started because of the US Congress’s bailout of Wall Street at the expense of taxpayer. It was further fueled by the corporate fat cats paying themselves huge bonuses after bankrupting the bailed-out corporations they were supposed to manage.

   So after getting a combined, “Up yours, Buckwheat” from Congress and corporations the least politically vocal sector of our population hit the streets in protest nationwide. Things quickly went downhill when some of the wackier elements started getting mega-goofy.

   However, it is hard to judge what was really happening since the press covered the antics of the Looney-tunes and ignored the more serious elements. We will see how this works out in November 2012.

   Love was in the air during 2011. It was big doings over in ‘Old Blighty’. Prince William and Kate Middleton got hitched and the entire country and half of the world fell out for that affair. I am told the when the bride’s father got the bill he fainted and upon recovery turned himself in to theTowerofLondonfor the long tour.

   Despite the huge numbers, it was a rather staid affair. There was not much of a bachelor party and certainly not a reception as in the Irish style. That is to say no punches thrown and no broken furniture.

   I am still miffed. I never did get an invitation and worst yet no Thank You note for the nifty toaster I sent the happy couple. It was a four-slice model too, the ingrates.

   In the, ‘I’ve had snow-cones in August that lasted longer’ class there was the overly heralded Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries’ marriage that came to an end after a mere 72 days.

   Was there anybody who believed that this affair that was made in heaven would not be swirling down the divorce toilet in record time? (Though the Robin Givens and Svetozar Marinkovic nuptials still holds the record of less then 24 hours.)

   The wedding allegedly cost $10 million, but somehow turned in an $18 million gain through advertising and TV rights. So, I guess true love turns a blind profit.

   Well, I’ll see you here next year. It ought to be a doozy.© 2011, Jim McGowan



Written by harmonycounty

December 29, 2011 at 4:42 p12

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