Harmony County

2011 & 2009 Winner of "Best Humor Column" awarded by the SC Press Association

Pop goes the microphone

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Did you see the Presidential Debate last week? It was a history-making event, because at that discussion the cure for insomnia was discovered. The only things that were determined were that the moderator lost control after, “Please welcome…” and after it was it was obvious that both debaters could not stick to the subject nor tell time.

I prefer political functions a bit more lively. Even the dullest meeting of the Harmony County Council has more spirit. Take, for example, this report that appeared in a recent edition of the “Harmony County Weekly Blister”.

“This week’s meeting of the Harmony County Council opened in the usual manner. The ‘Pledge of Allegiance’ was recited, there was a moment of silence and a pat down search conducted by the Sheriff’s Deputies that produced seven pistols, four switch blades, three blackjacks, and a cleverly concealed tire iron.

“A new motion was made by Councilman McGurk to name the playground on Mill Street after former Councilman Palini, who is currently serving 8 to10 for accepting bribes, mismanagement of a public office and felonious flatulence.

“A animated discussion followed that resulted in two chairs destroyed, the podium reduced to splinters, a microphone missing, three chipped teeth, a broken nose and McGurk on the floor rocking back and forth in a fetal position, weeping, “Make the bad man go away.”

“Order was restored by the deputies with the liberal application of pepper spray and use of their Tazars. Since most of the Council members were rendered ‘non compos mentis’ the meeting was adjourned with the recitation of the “Kaddish” by those who could still stand.”

This is standard, straightforward reporting. It is based on the principle that it is the journalist’s duty to present the facts and respect the reader’s ability to come to their own conclusions.

I have worked for newspapers all over the South. Some were liberal leaning others conservative. In every case this principle was observed. The Op/Ed page it was a different matter and that is as it should be. That is where opinions are expressed, but they are never presented as news.

Sorry to say, but the heavy hitters in the media have thrown that principle out the window. The things I have seen on TV and read in the national newspapers are a disgrace to our profession. This ‘won or loss’ nonsense about the debate is strictly out of bounds. All that is needed is to report on who said what and the readers will make up their minds without ‘spin’. What they are really saying is that we are too stupid to understand what is going on.

In a follow-on story to the Harmony County Council piece the “Blister” ran the following; “As stated last week a microphone was lost. It was later recovered from Councilman McGurk by a team of proctologists at Harmony County General with the assistance of a five-ton winch supplied by Tug’s Wrecking Service. Said Doctor Manogrande of the procedure, “You should have heard that thing ‘Pop’”.© 2012, Jim McGowan

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Written by harmonycounty

October 11, 2012 at 4:42 p10

Posted in Americana, Humor, Politics

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