Harmony County

2011 & 2009 Winner of "Best Humor Column" awarded by the SC Press Association

The Cheese Hat Caped Crusader

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Here is another one under the heading of. “I wish I could make this stuff up.”
Madison, Wis. (AP) — “A man who wears thong underwear and a cape while riding his scooter through Wisconsin’s capital city may be a strange sight. But police say he isn’t breaking any laws.
“Earlier this month, staff at John F. Kennedy Elementary School in Madison called authorities after the man rode by in his unmentionables while students were walking to a bus.
“Police spokesman Joel DeSpain tells the Wisconsin State Journal that a sergeant had a chat with the person police call Thong Cape Scooter Man. He admitted he used poor judgment in going past the school but said he did it unintentionally.
“The city attorney told police the man broke no laws.
“So it seems Thong Cape Scooter Man is free to ride on.”
OK, what seems to be the big deal? Looks to me that the ‘Badger’ fans are making something out of nothing. Here in Harmony County that get up might be considered haute couture. Then again Harmony Countydiots are known for there snappy outfits. Around here almost every day is Halloween.
The other day the President of the County Commission showed up at a meeting wearing lederhosen and an Aloha shirt. But, he has a huge identity problem.
The Chief of Police decided that to give his organization a more ‘citizen friendly’ appearance. He had all the cops dress like Clarabelle the Clown. It did not work out as hoped. The cops were getting laughed at from the start of their shift till the end.
The minions of the law could only take so much. They substituted pepper liquid in their seltzer bottles and things got nasty. They gave Grannie Fannie Fenstermacher a spritz when she was dukeing it out at a meeting of the Seniors Club at a local saloon.
When she finally got off the floor things got pretty intense. Don’t let the ‘blue-rinse set fool you. Three of the cops should be out of the hospital in a week or so. Maybe ‘Deputy Dog’ outfits might have been more appropriate.
So our hero can legally buzz around town dressed like Superman at the beach. I disagree with the Madison powers-that-be. I am guessing that the school kids are going to need a lot of therapy after the drive by and I am sure their teachers fielded a bunch of questions not pertaining to the 3R’s.
Another point, what is going to happen when, inevitably, his cape gets caught up in the drive chain of his scooter? Talk about going ‘a** over tea kettle’. This guy is going to set the world’s record for ‘road rash’. The medics will probably laugh themselves sick.
I suspect Bob Dylan’s song “Blowin’ in the Winds” may have had something to do with this. “How many roads must a man go down…The answer is blowin’ in the winds.”
But I’ve got one question. Where was this guy going dressed that way, Wal-Mart? © 2013, Jim McGowan


Written by harmonycounty

May 30, 2013 at 4:42 p05

Posted in Americana, Humor

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