Harmony County

2011 & 2009 Winner of "Best Humor Column" awarded by the SC Press Association

It’s all PC to me

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The other day I got corrected for committing that most grievous of modern sins. I was not “politically correct.” I got called on saying, “Founding Fathers.” It was too sexist. Instead, I was told to use the term, “The Founders.”
‘PC’ terms have always raised the hair on the back of my neck. Take the term ‘rain forest’ for example. Our Uncle Sam, in his usual twisted sense of humor, stationed me in the jungle for four years. Busting brush on two continents I can testify that I have never seen a ‘rain forest’. But I sure saw a bunch of jungle.
Just think of the phrase, “Be careful, it is a jungle out there” and change it to, “Be careful, it is a rain forest out there.” It is PC, but not much of an impact.
I find it odd that when liberal organizations get together to make their points in public it usually ends up with the participation of the riot police, the fire department, a half dozen ambulances, followed, the next day, by every glass installer for miles around. However, this is called a ‘protest’.
Meanwhile, when conservatives come together they march down Main Street, hold up placards, stop at the podium and, very un-PC, say a prayer, listen to the speakers, occasionally cheer, and then go quietly home. But, this is called a ‘riot’. (The kind of riot the cops just love to go to.)
Nowadays the ‘garbage man’ has become a ‘sanitation engineer’. When I was a kid I thought engineers were the lucky ducks that drove the trains. Later I learned that the guys who went to Georgia Tech were engineers and built neat stuff like skyscrapers and bridges.
Once a week two guys in a big truck come by, grab the garbage can, dump it in the back of the truck, pull it out, heave it back on the curb, one of them lets out a loud, piercing whistle and off they go to the next engineering site. Conspicuous in there absence are calculators, electronic levels, surveying tools and other engineering toys.
Here are a few terms that have been translated into PC: Native American contributor, Irish American vehicle, Caucasian American motor home refuse, Dromedary equestrian, lawfully impaired extraterrestrials, Government aid monarch, Domicile spouse, Hill William, China person.
The Politically Incorrect origins of the above terms are: Indian giver, bar car, trailer trash, camel jockey, illegal aliens, welfare queen, housewife, hillbilly and Chinaman.
In too many cases the PC stuff has gone over the edge. For example; a prostitute is now a sex worker, meter maid is a parking enforcement adjudicator, the office boy is an office assistant, pets are animal companions, a drooling drunk idiot is just a person on the floor, when you get lost you are merely temporarily misoriented, and a conservative is a right-wing, extremist, fascist, pig.
There are a couple of PC terms I do enjoy. The first is ‘mobster’ which has been changed to ‘public official’ and ‘politician’ is now ‘un-indicted co-conspirator’. © 2013 Jim McGowan

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Written by harmonycounty

June 27, 2013 at 4:42 p06

Posted in Americana, Humor

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