Harmony County

2011 & 2009 Winner of "Best Humor Column" awarded by the SC Press Association

What does ‘social media’ mean anyway?

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   I am a devotee of the social media site, “Facebook”. Maybe addict would be a better descriptor. I spend way too much time staring into the computer when I should be doing more productive things such as writing, exercising, chores, etc. (Who’s kidding who, watching TV, napping or drinking adult beverages is more like it.)

   Currently there is a rash of folks dumping ice water on themselves for the benefit of ALS, Lou Gehrig’s disease, research. I fully support this bit of craziness. I am also fully aware of how it feels. Back in the day I was trying to recover from a self-inflicted case of ‘Irish Flu’. I had promised my wife that I would do some chores around the house but I was trapped by the rack monster. You guessed it. When the water hit I went through a litany of swear words that would embarrass a Gunnery Sergeant. I did the chores with a headache of historic dimensions.

   Cat photos are very popular on FB. OK, so you have a cute kitty cat or twelve. Well, Fast Eddie and Lazy Jake are nice looking wee beasties, a little tubby, but attractive enough. However, I do not need to look at a couple hundred pix of your little ‘Fluffy’. I got bored at around photo number 50.

   The advent of the camera in every phone is, I believe, more of a curse than a blessing. There are a bunch of ‘selfies’ being posted. Complete strangers laying on the beach, standing on their front porch, sitting around with their fellow high school grads, Class of ’64, do not make for exciting viewing. Get serious, unless you look like Sofia Vergara or Matt Damon save yourself the embarrassment. While we are at it, shed a few pounds.

   Your diet and my diet are of great interest to the health foodies. They generally preach “Never eat this…” Of course meat is strictly forbidden. These folks want us all to be herbivores. Sugar, flour, gluten, whatever that is, coffee, butter, milk, alcohol, salt, fat and the most evil of all, bacon, are definite no-no’s. If I tried to follow these dictates I would starve to death in a week. Then there are foods that will cure every disease known. When you read the fine print you find out that you have to eat the stuff by the bushel.

   However, I did see one of these postings that said “Guinness” is good for you. Of course it is, who didn’t know that?

   Then there are those that are just plain weird. There is one that is circulating that the recent 6.0 earthquake in California will cause a solar flare that will destroy all electronic and communication satellites and the earth will be covered in darkness. The aliens, no, not those from south of the border, get a lot of ink. They are amongst us even to the highest levels and will soon dominate the world.

   The way things are I say, “Give them a shot.”© 2014, Jim McGowan

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Written by harmonycounty

August 28, 2014 at 4:42 p08

Posted in Uncategorized

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