Harmony County

2011 & 2009 Winner of "Best Humor Column" awarded by the SC Press Association

“Take me out to the ball game…”

with 2 comments

Despite the wretched weather baseball season is finally here. I am a huge fan of ‘America’s Pastime’ and have been fortunate enough to have participated in the sport since I was a wee lad up to now. I will not bore you with my successes and failures as a player. I think I have already done so in a past column. But I do have some other baseball stories.
There is only one way to watch baseball and that is at a live game complete with a poorly cooked hot dog and a pint of beer. I realize that if you follow the pros and live around here you better have a Lear Jet or some serious frequent flyer miles. Lacking that we will have to do with TV and frankly, it is just not the same.
That is not to say there is no good baseball locally that we can enjoy. There are excellent games played by local college, high school, and various youth leagues. And do not forget the female sportspersons who play a mean game of softball. We might even get a minor league team back if the local politicos can stop arguing amongst themselves and divide the graft up evenly. (Oh fellows, I do not recommend one of the potential spots for a stadium. It is a swamp.)
To get back to the ‘Pastime’ bit. To enjoy this game of many nuances needs a good knowledge of the game and a great deal of patience. It is not a game of constant violent action, ala football. Throwing a no-hitter game is every pitcher’s dream, however except for the last inning, it is like watching the paint dry.
When I was stationed in Germany we were assigned to cross train with a German Army Battalion. We trained and socialized with these soldiers more than we did with American outfits. So to give these guys a dose of our culture we took the officers to a baseball game that was played between two US Brigade teams.
Well, the Luger heads got the beer and hot dog part down pat. Any sausage-like mystery meat and a warm beer, they do not chill their beer, and these guys are in hog heaven. However, by the third inning all of the krauts were sleeping like babies, and it was a pretty good game. Not to be outdone and to return the favor they took us to a soccer match. About ten minutes into the first quarter all of us GIs were sawing logs.
This season I am again assistant coaching one of my grandson’s team. It is great fun and to watch some of the unintentional goofs is hilarious. However, I have some recommendations to the parents and other fans. Keep the noise down. Even shouted words of encouragement is distracting and has a tendency to put more pressure on the players. Stick with the polite clapping and leave it at that.
I hope to see you out there enjoying ‘America’s Pastime’. © 2015, Jim McGowan

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Written by harmonycounty

March 5, 2015 at 4:42 p03

Posted in Americana, Humor, Sports

2 Responses

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  1. Hey’, get your peanuts, popcorn, steroids, HERE’

    Eldon Kilberger

    March 5, 2015 at 4:42 p03

  2. Hey now where is the hey batter batter batter swing , pitcher cant throw thats the fun

    Kerri

    March 5, 2015 at 4:42 p03


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