Harmony County

2011 & 2009 Winner of "Best Humor Column" awarded by the SC Press Association

Facebook addiction

with one comment

I have to stop reading the articles on Facebook. As an ‘old school’ journalist I have had it pounded into my head by professors, editors and publishers to at least double check, or better yet triple check, your sources. This rule is obviously not followed on FB.

It seems that the people who post on this site think that the readers are gullible or just plain stupid. Trust me they are not. Hard experience has taught me that if you mess up, the gentle reader will spread peanut butter all over you and eat you for lunch. That is the best that can happen. The worst is trip to civil court to face a slander law suit for an amount roughly the size of the GDP of France.

I once saw a guy mess up the cut-lines under a photo at a crime scene. He identified a bystander as the criminal and the criminal as a bystander. That was the shortest and most expensive law suit I have ever witnessed. The complainant just showed the judge the paper. School was out to the tune of a couple million.

Climate change is a big issue. As you know the polar ice caps are expanding, contracting or remaining the same size. This leaves penguins, polar bears and people very confused. I suppose we can blame this on AL Gore, self-proclaimed inventor of the internet, the space shuttle and the Vegimatic. But according to the experts we will find out for sure in either 10, 20 or 100 years.

The Texas invasion by the military is also a hot item. Okay, but, if I was to pick a state to invade Texas would be at the bottom of the list. Those folks got guns and not only do they know how to use them, they like to. I would go for Rhode Island or Delaware. Avoid New Jersey, you are likely to get mugged.

Not all posts are that serious. Stuff like “10 Things You Didn’t Know About Avocados” I don’t know how many nights I have sat up bemoaning my avocado ignorance.

Tattoo photos are popular. Swell, but your selection of body art is your business. If Sister Mary Elephant ever got a hold of you she would take it off with a wire brush. Nuns are very protective of, “The Temple of the Holy Spirit.”

FBers are fascinated with pictures of meals they eat. I have a pretty good idea what bacon and eggs looks like. However, conspicuous in their absence is a side of grits. Hash browns are well represented. Is this some sort of anti-corn movement?

Cats are all over the place. I am guilty of this one since I have shared pix of the Kilkenny Brothers, the most handsome wee beasties on the planet. Dog photos come in second. They are usually doing goofy things. But, that’s what they do.

But, I am really not interested in your dietary habits. Unless, of course, you have a recipe for avocado stuffed, tattooed kitty cats. © 2015, Jim McGowan

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Written by harmonycounty

June 4, 2015 at 4:42 p06

Posted in Americana, Humor

One Response

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  1. Ha Ha I totally agree
    You should check out my Facebook Hate List.

    cimmonetellsall

    June 4, 2015 at 4:42 p06


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