Harmony County

2011 & 2009 Winner of "Best Humor Column" awarded by the SC Press Association


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I am sure I have bored you silly bragging about being an Auburn grad. I realize that you USC and Clemson folks are jealous, but they are nice schools too. So last week I got the quarterly Alumni Association magazine. Normally it has stories about what is going on in the school such as discoveries by the School of Pharmacy or Agriculture, etc. Remember AU is a ‘cow college’ and we are the ones that brought you kudzu. Not our brightest hour.

However this quarter’s edition was a 54-page, cover to cover, Beg-A-Thon. Following the advice of one of my nun’s from grammar school, Sister Mary Elephant, “Never steal anything small” the powers that be want to raise $1,000,000,000. Yup, that is a Billion with a ‘B’. Most of it is supposed to go toward building new facilities and the balance will be used to buy Costa Rica.

OK, go for it. I don’t mind being asked for a donation, but these folks said how much each alum should contribute. That is the part that burns my War Eagle tail feathers. However, if you watch TV there are a bunch of different charities that tell you how much to send in every month. The current popular figure is $19. That translates out to $228 a year.

Don’t get me wrong. I am a firm believer in helping my fellow man. But I realize there are some folks are pressed for cash. However, there are alternatives and to me an important part is that these organizations are here at home, not somewhere out in the Ethernet.

One of these ads is for a group that helps vets.  Great, but locally you can volunteer to help out at the nearest VA hospital. Jobs are answering phones, manning an information desk or driving people around in those overgrown golf carts just to name a few. Is the VA too far away? Contact your local VFW, American Legion or other veterans’ organizations they will point you in the right direction. To the best of my knowledge there is a State Veterans Office in each county. They can give you the advice you need.

Another of these $19 ads is to help animals. Sounds good to me. Once again there is an Animal Control Office in each county. When these folks are not busy chasing “lions and tigers and bears, Oh my.” off you front yard they are connected to local animal shelters. They need volunteers too. Failing that, the next time you are in a supermarket pick up a large bag of pet food and drop it off at the shelter. The folks there will be very grateful.

Other spots in the community are the local hospital, scouting and other youth organizations and my personal favorite, Dixie Youth Baseball. Volunteers all. Do not forget the nearby churches. Many run soup kitchens or homeless shelters all of which could use your help even if it is just KP.

Everybody knows how to ‘dive for pearls’.   © 2015, Jim McGowan


Written by harmonycounty

July 30, 2015 at 4:42 p07

Posted in Humor

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