Harmony County

2011 & 2009 Winner of "Best Humor Column" awarded by the SC Press Association

Is the juice is worth the squeeze?

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I just did the update to Windows 10. After you agree to the “Terms of Agreement”, you know; a quart of blood, your first-born, and to worship only at the Church of the Blessed Bill Gates you are going to have some time on your hands.

It takes about 2+ hours to copy, install and configure. Strictly hands off. So you can have a leisurely long lunch, get in nine holes, or memorize “The Complete Works of Tacitus” in the original Latin. Then you go through a few more pages while it handles your personal apps and info for another half-hour or so. Finally, you can open your stuff.

I have been using a computer since they first came out. The first portable was the same size as a piece of luggage and weighed around 15 to 20 pounds. It had a 7 inch green screen and could only be used with numbers and letters. Thomas Jefferson borrowed it to run his drafts of The Declaration of Independence.  They went with a hand printing for the final since it was faster.

Do not get me wrong. Since then the hardware has improved immensely. I am writing this on a three-pound laptop with more memory than the Apollo spacecraft by a factor of fifty or more. Well peachy-keen. The thing is I only use it for writing and poisoning my mind on Facebook. (I had no idea that space aliens built the Pyramids.) Regardless, I have about 760 megabytes that go unused.

The thing that confuses me is the software. I started out with Windows then, in order; 3.0, 4.0, 7.0, XP, 8.0, and 8.1. Now we have Windows 10. They were all supposed to be an improvement of the previous versions. So far as I can tell the only thing that has improved is the balance in Bill Gate’s bank account.

The best thing I can say about W-10 is my ‘puter it is just a tad faster. On the down side it has gotten to the point that ‘error messages’ are now being called ‘Jim-mail’. There are a ton of new icons and drop downs none of which make any sense.

For example just what is a ‘snipping tool’? Besides something that strikes terror in the hearts of the Kilkenny Brothers I haven’t a clue. It is not for trimming photos or art work. Other stuff on the freebie apps list, none of which I asked for are; 3D Builder, Cortana, Flipboard, Fresh Paint, Groove Music, LINE, Music Maker Jam, Realtek, Xbox, Zinio Reader, to name a few.

Now I am fumbling all over the screen trying to find the stuff that is important to me. I am using the ‘Columbus Method’ that is where you discover it and land on it. I am wearing out the ‘save’ buttons hoping I will be able to find it again. I can hardly wait for 10.1 comes out.

Haven’t these wire heads ever heard the expression, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it?” © 2015, Jim McGowan

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Written by harmonycounty

August 6, 2015 at 4:42 p08

Posted in Humor

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