Harmony County

2011 & 2009 Winner of "Best Humor Column" awarded by the SC Press Association

The truth behind “Roll Tide”

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Now that my favorite time of the year is quickly closing in on us, (Football season, silly, not Fall.) I think it is time to discuss some little known facts about some of our favorite SEC teams.

The origins of “ROLL TIDE”. In 1922, P. Asfidity Tide, resigned his position as Chancellor of the University of Alabama. He then took a job as a men’s room attendant in a local bar. This definitely was a move up since there were more sanitary conditions and a nicer clientele. One day when he was on the job he became fixated on making ugly faces in the mirror while making elephant noises. There was someone in the stalls at the time who noticed there was no toilet paper. The customer tried, repeatedly, to get Tide’s attention to no avail. Finally, exasperated, he yelled, “ROLL, TIDE”! So the next time you hear that phrase know that it is a desperate plea for TP. Act accordingly.

In my alma mater, Auburn, resides a serious identity crisis. They are alternately known as; the Plainsmen, the Tigers, and the War Eagles. The name ‘Plainsmen’ comes from what the town of Auburn calls itself, “The Loveliest Village on the Plain”. I lived there for three years. Trust me, the Chamber of Commerce is using a personality altering substance.

A “Plainsman” isn’t a name that inspires fear in the hearts of athletic opponents. So it is rarely used. The “War Eagle” comes from the fight song and is used as a cheer when something goes well in a game. They even keep a live eagle in a cage that is bigger than a two-story house. However, there may be some bird related problems in the near future.

They just put up a new scoreboard in the football stadium. It is 200’ wide. When the real War Eagle makes his pregame flight around the stadium and takes one look at himself 200’ wide I bet he is sure to lighten his load. I just hope he unloads on the opposing bench. Coach Malzahn will not look good in eagle-sized bird droppings.

I live in the middle of Gamecock country. Like all SEC fans these folks take their football seriously. I too like the Gamecocks. I preferred them slow cooked in a wine sauce with mushrooms. (That last crack is going to get me roasted.)

Body painting is very popular by some of the Gamecock fans. It is all good fun and the kids get to act silly on national TV. However, once the post-game cake and ice cream party is over it is time to hit the showers. It is not cool to show up at the 8 a.m. calculus class, Monday, with a big ‘G’ painted on your chest. That means you too, professor.

One thing I recently enjoyed reading. There have been statements in the media that the University of Southern California is the real USC. The response from a Gamecock was, “We were a collage before you were a state.” You gotta Love it. © 2015, Jim McGowan

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Written by harmonycounty

August 27, 2015 at 4:42 p08

Posted in Humor

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