Harmony County

2011 & 2009 Winner of "Best Humor Column" awarded by the SC Press Association

Harmony High School Reunion

with 2 comments

Now is that time of year that we are reminded that we are getting older, we have not aged gracefully, our contemporaries have been more successful than us, and are going to die. Of course I am speaking about the dreaded High School Reunion.

Not to be out done, the Harmony County Classes of 1985 through 1995 just had theirs. Usually it takes a great deal of planning and coordination to pull a reunion together. Locating the grads, contacting them, reserving a hall, getting a band, setting up a banquet, finding a speaker, engage a photographer, hanging the decorations, etc. can make even the most dedicated person crazy.

However, all of this was not a problem with the Harmony High alumni. The vast majority were in one place, the Harmony County Correctional Facility. Easy peasy.

The hall was already there. It was the exercise yard. It was kind of different since all the attendees had to keep moving around in a circle, but only for an hour and then they had return to their suites. Unfortunately there was no dancing, but they could do the, “Stockade shuffle”

Finding a band was out of the question. But since there were several in the group who could play the harmonica since they have a lot of time to practice. Music was in the air complete with slow walking and sad singing.

Graciously, the sheriff supplied the banquet. It was the usual bologna sandwich, but since it was a special occasion, he even threw in one of those little mustard packets and used only one-day-old bread. Nummy, nummy.

Class photos were not a problem. Over the years everyone has had their picture taken. Unfortunately they were all the same. You are probably familiar with them. They are up against a lined background that shows height. The subject is holding a plaque under his chin with his name and number on it and in one he is looking into the camera in the other facing to the right.  You have seen them every time you go into the post office.

Like all year books there are candid student activity pix. In nearly all of these it is hard to identify exactly who is in the photo. The shots are from overhead cameras and the all of the people are wearing hoodies and ski masks. As per usual there is a homecoming king and queen. This is restricted to third offender. The homecoming king is 59833472 and the queen is named Walter. (That is as far as I am going with that line.)

The keynote speaker was the sheriff. Let’s face it, he only makes speeches around election time. So this one was a talk everyone has heard many times. It started off with, “You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be held against you. You have the right to a lawyer…”

Well, a good time was had by all. Unfortunately most of the attendees will still be there in another 10 years. © 2015. Jim McGowan


Written by harmonycounty

September 10, 2015 at 4:42 p09

Posted in Humor

2 Responses

Subscribe to comments with RSS.

  1. Jim, excellent, sad, but true.

    Eldon Kilberger

    September 10, 2015 at 4:42 p09

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: