Harmony County

2011 & 2009 Winner of "Best Humor Column" awarded by the SC Press Association

The political divide in the litter box

with 2 comments

One would never suspect that cats are political animals, but that is not true, particularly in the case of the Kilkenny Brothers. These two are heavy duty into politics. Unfortunately they are on the opposite sides of the political litter box.

As could be expected Fast Eddie is a claw carrying Republican through and through. I have no idea how he could make a pick out of field of so many, but he is definitely a Trump supporter. I suppose it might have something to do with the fact that both of them have the same color hair and FE has started to comb his the same way.

Eddie has a tendency to give orders to everyone around him. He never shares and fiercely protects the food bowl while howling out, “Meown, meown” at the top of his lungs. He treats the water bowl the same way. He dips his face into it ears deep and tries to drink it all in one try. (I have been accused of the same thing when it comes to twelve-packs.)

As his name implies Lazy Jake is a Democrat. He had a tough time figuring out who he was going to support. He finally went with Bernie Sanders once he found out that Hillary’s nickname was “Hilldog”. The ‘dog’ bit was the decider.

LJ likes his free stuff.  Free kibbles, water, litter box maintenance and a warm spot to sleep. When his brother FE is defending the food and water he just sits close and whines. He also has a tendency to push you out of the way when he wants to take one of his many naps because he thinks he should be in your comfy spot. And if it were up to him I would be cleaning out the litter box six times a day. He also likes to go next door and take the stuff from the cats that live there.

Political debates are as common as door knobs. I am a firm believer in freedom of speech however, three-o’clock in the morning is not the best time. The Brothers have a tendency to express themselves in a loud and violent manner. In addition to the growling and hissing they wrestle and pound each other’s head on the floor. After seeing the political debates on TV I am sure that the human candidates would much rather do it this way. I know I would. If they do my money is on Hilldog.

The position of First Cat is of importance to them. It would be great to have an ‘in’ in the White House. Anti-dog legislation is an issue they closely follow. They figure that equality is over now that the current human is in charge and they both want the upper hand. They want the return of the “No dogs can poop here” signs back on the trees.

So I spend a lot of time pulling down kitty-sized election signs.  Oddly enough, fleas are independents no matter who they bite. © 2015, Jim McGowan

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Written by harmonycounty

October 15, 2015 at 4:42 p10

Posted in Humor

2 Responses

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  1. Jim, excellent, laughed my politically correct ass’ off !

    Eldon Kilberger

    October 15, 2015 at 4:42 p10


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